I still remember when things clicked for me.
That moment sitting in my first grade classroom and realizing “t-h-e” formed the.
Bringing home a small booklet with simple sentences and driving my parents crazy by reading it over and over to them.
Reading “Brown bear, brown bear” no longer from memory but by understanding how the letters formed coherent sounds.
The beginning when Harry Potter was just starting and getting sucked into a magical world.
Absorbed in the Redwall world and not eating or taking bathroom breaks.
Getting bug-eyed looks when I would check out ten books. Twenty. Thirty. Forty. Fifty.
Speeding through the stories so quickly that left my mind spinning and confused which world I was in.
The excitement when I saw 200+ reviews for a fanfiction that was never completed.
Voiceless no longer.
I write because I have much to say.
No, actually. You’re just making an excuse because you know the other person is effectively cornered. COWARD.
Let me explain my rage.
I was working tonight. My job is a security monitor at the college dormitories. I sit at a desk while checking ID’s and signing non-residents in. There had been a big party and everyone from that party were coming back. I’m not sure of the ethnicity but can say that these group of individuals were Indian or Middle Eastern. Minorities. Usually I have a real quiet night but naturally after a big party it was pretty busy. Understandable, right? Well the guests got out of hand and the RA on duty had a hard time controlling the noise and chaos. The poor girl was already stressed out when she came down to my desk and asked to see the log-in sheet. In the lobby waiting to be signed in were two boys and two girls of said minority. Now, the RA was being nice and warning them that it isn’t a good idea to sign in to the building if they’re going up to the 3rd or 4th floor which were the problem areas. The group of kids said they understood and kept waiting. Around 30 minutes passed and a couple people from upstairs came down to talk with the group waiting downstairs. Basically anybody with a teaspoon of social skills could tell that they were talking about the RA in a negative manner despite not speaking English. The RA warned them again to reconsider going upstairs.
And this is when disaster and stupidity struck.
For future purposes, I’m calling these kids “Minority Boy #1/Minority Boy #2”, okay?
So Minority Boy #1 gets angry. He starts saying that the RA was being rude and racist because she was just warning them. Minority Boy #1 brought up the point that what if all of them were just going upstairs to do study and play video games (at 1:30 am on a Saturday night? College students? Riiiiiiiight.) The other Minority kids started chiming in saying that they were doing nothing. Which was true. They had been quiet and not saying anything until that moment. They all made a great show of being angry because the RA was being “racist” and left the building. Minority Boy #2 stayed behind a couple seconds longer and told the poor RA that she was racial profiling and it disgusted him.
Fuck these idiots. Seriously. I’m 100% Korean ethnically. I’ve been on the receiving end of racism, ignorant remarks, and discriminatory actions. I KNOW when someone is racially profiling or acting against me due to my race.
So I couldn’t help but feel my blood boil at these DUMBASSES who used the excuse of “You’re being racist!” to get their point of across and effectively silence the RA. Because what do you say when you’re being accused of racism? Really?
I’m so angry now. I should have said something. But I didn’t because the RA seemed to handle it just fine. She just said that there was a lot going up on the third floor which was the destination of these Minority Brats and warned them to save them some trouble. The fact that the perpetrators upstairs were also the same ethnicity of the Minority Brats was a coincidence. If it had been two white kids, black kids, or east Asian kids trying to get in the RA would have said the same thing.
Racism is wrong. I totally understand. I know how much suffering has been inflicted. I know how hard people have worked to fight it.
BUT. When idiotic college students who try to utilize a fucking pity party and pit an obviously one-sided accusation against someone that just makes them look like fools. It pisses me off.
The RA was doing her job. She was already frustrated after having to deal with some stupid college kids. This girl made no mention of race. It was mere coincidence that the people who were causing trouble and the people who wanted to get inside the building happened to be the same ethnicity/race.
Just because you’re a minority doesn’t mean you get a fucking free pass whenever you’re incapable of being intelligent and polite. These people were jerks, assholes, bitches. They didn’t think things through and I should have said something because I’m Asian and there’s no way they’d actually accuse me of being racist against them. But they had a circular and flawed logic so who knows what would have happened?
I won’t deny that sometimes I’ve thought about blowing up at people and using the race card. And maybe I have. But it’s always been unconscious. When you’re the butt of every joke or usually pointed out in rude gestures, you tend to be slightly more aware of words and how they’re used. You are wary of people and their actions. I was embarrassed and ashamed these people were using “racism” as a their trump card. They played so fucking dirty.
But I will learn from this. The important thing? SPEAK UP. Even if I’m wrong and I’m making a huge mistake or get hurt. . .I need to talk. I’m usually right anyway. But even if I would be wrong or regret it in the future, it would still never be equal to the feeling of guilt that I COULD have said something and helped a poor white girl who was just trying to do her job.
I have no tolerance for people who are rude and unable to show some respect to those who are just doing their jobs. I have no problem crushing people and putting them in their place if they’re picking on the weak. It’s not cool.
I’d rather get into a fist fight. I’d rather be proven wrong. I’d rather get suspended/fired from my job.
Than see someone get hurt in front of me when I could have done something to prevent it. Or at least alleviate the situation.
Never again am I going to remain silent. No more miss nice/quiet Asian chick.
Funny that the people I’m angry at are minorities and sympathetic towards the white people.